If one was to prepare their favourite meal,
there is a strong chance that they will end
up enjoying the meal once it was ready.
What is unlikely to happen is that they will
end up feeling as though they are doing
something wrong during this time.
Another way of looking at this would be to
say that one will be putting their needs first and they will
feel good about it. Along with this, they could also find that
they are able to fulfil the other needs that they have
without feeling guilty.
The Right Way
It could be said that this is the right way to experience life,
as it will give one the chance to live a fulfilling life. This is
not to say that their needs will always be met, but what it
does mean is that they will be used to having them met.
As a result of this, they are unlikely to feel as though they
are living someone else's life, or that they are doing what
other people want them to do. So when they are there for
others, it is likely to be because they want to be there for
them.
The Meal
Therefore, if they were to feel guilty whilst they were
eating a meal, it could be a sign that they are late for an
appointment. They feel as though they are doing something
wrong, but it is for another reason altogether.
However, even though one can prepare their favourite meal
and then eat it without feeling guilty, it doesn't mean that
they will comfortable putting the rest of their needs first.
They could find that this is one of the few times in their
life where they are able to relax.
Comfortable
When they put other people's needs first, they could feel
as though they are doing the right thing. During this time,
they can end up feeling comfortable, but that doesn't mean
that they won't experience inner resistance at the same
time.
They could be in a position where they are all too aware of
this resistance, or it could be something that they are
generally able to overlook. There could be times when this
resistance appears and times when it disappears, for
instance.
Self-Neglect
This could then mean that it is going to be normal for one
to neglect themselves and to focus on other people's
needs. They might not even be aware of what their needs
are most of the time, but even if they are, it is not going to
make much of a difference.
Yet this doesn't mean that they will let other people know
about how they feel, as they could come across as though
everything is fine. In fact, they could be known as someone
who is generally happy and always willing to help others.
Deep Down
But even though this is how they come across around
others, it doesn't mean that this is what they will be like
behind the scenes, so to speak. When they are by
themselves, they could end up feeling depressed.
Based on how they experience life, it is going to be normal
for them to feel this way, and this is because they can feel
as though they have no control over their life. They may
even go through moments where they feel like a victim.
Anger
What this is likely to show is that they are generally
disconnected from their anger, and this is then going to
stop them from speaking up. If they were to speak up or to
go about fulfilling their own needs, they would end up
feeling as though they are doing something wrong.
And all the time they feel this way, their life is not going to
be a reflection of their own needs; it will be a reflection of
their need to please others. But while some people will
notice what is taking place, there are going to be others
who believe that they are doing the 'right' thing.
Another Experience
However, even though some people will end up completely
sabotaging their life, there are going to be others who will
carry on regardless. This is not to say that they won't have
moments where they will sabotage their life, but this won't
be what always takes place
At the same time, it is likely to be a challenge for them to
enjoy their life, as they can still feel as though they are
doing something wrong. They could achieve something and
no matter how hard they have worked to achieve it, they
could feel as though something is missing.
Inner Conflict
All the time they are experiencing this inner conflict, it is
not going to be possible for them to live a fulfilling life. It
could then be normal for them to have moments where
they think that they are on the wrong track in life.
Their well-being is going to be effected and unless they are
able to let go of the guilt that they are experiencing, they
are going to continue to suffer unnecessarily. There is the
chance that they are experiencing life in this way due to
what took place during their childhood years.
The Reason
During this time, one may have had a caregiver who used
them to take care of their own needs. So while there were
a child who needed someone to take care of their own
needs, they had to ignore their own needs and to act like a
parent.
This would have set them up to feel ashamed of their own
needs and to feel guilty for having them. Through
experiencing this, it is going to be normal for them to
believe that other people's needs are more important than
their own.
Awareness
In order for one to feel comfortable with their own needs, it
will be important for them to question what they believe
and they may need to look at what is taking place at an
emotional level. They may find that they have unmet
childhood needs that need to be grieved, and they may also
find that they are sabotaging their life out of their loyal to
their caregiver/s.
This is a process that can take place with the assistance
of a therapist and/or a support group, and if one has the
need to be loyal, they may need to have a family
constellation.
Prolific writer, author and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails
from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and
analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love,
partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over eight
hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology
and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound
advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The
Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
there is a strong chance that they will end
up enjoying the meal once it was ready.
What is unlikely to happen is that they will
end up feeling as though they are doing
something wrong during this time.
Another way of looking at this would be to
say that one will be putting their needs first and they will
feel good about it. Along with this, they could also find that
they are able to fulfil the other needs that they have
without feeling guilty.
The Right Way
It could be said that this is the right way to experience life,
as it will give one the chance to live a fulfilling life. This is
not to say that their needs will always be met, but what it
does mean is that they will be used to having them met.
As a result of this, they are unlikely to feel as though they
are living someone else's life, or that they are doing what
other people want them to do. So when they are there for
others, it is likely to be because they want to be there for
them.
The Meal
Therefore, if they were to feel guilty whilst they were
eating a meal, it could be a sign that they are late for an
appointment. They feel as though they are doing something
wrong, but it is for another reason altogether.
However, even though one can prepare their favourite meal
and then eat it without feeling guilty, it doesn't mean that
they will comfortable putting the rest of their needs first.
They could find that this is one of the few times in their
life where they are able to relax.
Comfortable
When they put other people's needs first, they could feel
as though they are doing the right thing. During this time,
they can end up feeling comfortable, but that doesn't mean
that they won't experience inner resistance at the same
time.
They could be in a position where they are all too aware of
this resistance, or it could be something that they are
generally able to overlook. There could be times when this
resistance appears and times when it disappears, for
instance.
Self-Neglect
This could then mean that it is going to be normal for one
to neglect themselves and to focus on other people's
needs. They might not even be aware of what their needs
are most of the time, but even if they are, it is not going to
make much of a difference.
Yet this doesn't mean that they will let other people know
about how they feel, as they could come across as though
everything is fine. In fact, they could be known as someone
who is generally happy and always willing to help others.
Deep Down
But even though this is how they come across around
others, it doesn't mean that this is what they will be like
behind the scenes, so to speak. When they are by
themselves, they could end up feeling depressed.
Based on how they experience life, it is going to be normal
for them to feel this way, and this is because they can feel
as though they have no control over their life. They may
even go through moments where they feel like a victim.
Anger
What this is likely to show is that they are generally
disconnected from their anger, and this is then going to
stop them from speaking up. If they were to speak up or to
go about fulfilling their own needs, they would end up
feeling as though they are doing something wrong.
And all the time they feel this way, their life is not going to
be a reflection of their own needs; it will be a reflection of
their need to please others. But while some people will
notice what is taking place, there are going to be others
who believe that they are doing the 'right' thing.
Another Experience
However, even though some people will end up completely
sabotaging their life, there are going to be others who will
carry on regardless. This is not to say that they won't have
moments where they will sabotage their life, but this won't
be what always takes place
At the same time, it is likely to be a challenge for them to
enjoy their life, as they can still feel as though they are
doing something wrong. They could achieve something and
no matter how hard they have worked to achieve it, they
could feel as though something is missing.
Inner Conflict
All the time they are experiencing this inner conflict, it is
not going to be possible for them to live a fulfilling life. It
could then be normal for them to have moments where
they think that they are on the wrong track in life.
Their well-being is going to be effected and unless they are
able to let go of the guilt that they are experiencing, they
are going to continue to suffer unnecessarily. There is the
chance that they are experiencing life in this way due to
what took place during their childhood years.
The Reason
During this time, one may have had a caregiver who used
them to take care of their own needs. So while there were
a child who needed someone to take care of their own
needs, they had to ignore their own needs and to act like a
parent.
This would have set them up to feel ashamed of their own
needs and to feel guilty for having them. Through
experiencing this, it is going to be normal for them to
believe that other people's needs are more important than
their own.
Awareness
In order for one to feel comfortable with their own needs, it
will be important for them to question what they believe
and they may need to look at what is taking place at an
emotional level. They may find that they have unmet
childhood needs that need to be grieved, and they may also
find that they are sabotaging their life out of their loyal to
their caregiver/s.
This is a process that can take place with the assistance
of a therapist and/or a support group, and if one has the
need to be loyal, they may need to have a family
constellation.
Prolific writer, author and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails
from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and
analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love,
partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over eight
hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology
and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound
advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The
Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
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